February 4, 2009

Chicago Temperature Conversion

My brother, David, and I have an ongoing debate concerning which state of residence (Illinois and California) is superior. Well, it's not so much a debate, as that implies the fact California is better is even disputable, but every once in awhile he'll come up with a few redeemable qualities about living in Illinois or Chicago that he sends me. This was something he recently found and forwarded, which is pretty amusing (temperatures in C included for my non-American readers):

60°F (15°C): Arizonians shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing.

50°F (10°C): Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens.

40°F (4°C): Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with the windows down.

32°F (0°C): Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker.

20°F (-6°C): Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats; people in Chicago throw on a light jacket.

15°F (-9°C): People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0°F (-18°C): All the people in Phoenix die. Chicagoans close the windows.

-10°F (-23°C): Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door to door.

-25°F (-32°C): Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.

-40°F (-40°C): Washington, DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let the dogs sleep indoors.

-100°F (-73°C): Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start "da' car".

-460°F (-273°C): All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500°F (-295°C): Hell freezes over. The Cubs win the World Series.


L said...

LOL, I tip my hat to ya, Illinois winter sucks. The weather says tomorrow is going to be 65°F (18°C) in Boulder. I'm wearing shorts biatch.

Billy said...

It doesn't matter where I go or how long I live there, I stay accustomed to heat. Five years in Illinois didn't change me except expand my cold weather wardrobe. However, I've still pulled out my long underwear for the few sub-freezing days we've had here in Seattle. The summer was also a little cool for me except for the very hottest days when everyone else was dying. Silly Northerners.

Yisong Yue said...

Home is where the biases ingrained from childhood want to you think is home... or something.

Asirap said...

@Leo: Yay for you! California has been exceptionally sunny this winter too, though that means people are complaining about not enough snow in Tahoe.

@Bill: That's just because you have such spicy cajun blood.

@Yisong: Your logic is broken with this one because I've completely abandoned the notion of "Sweet home Chicago" :D